These aren't ugly for their sides, rears, or details: they're here because of their ugly mugs. That's right: cars have faces, and this is a selection of some of the worst ever
The Aurora
What th–? The 1957 Aurora was designed, over three years, by a Catholic priest who wanted to produce the safest car ever. We should point out that building a car is probably not the best use of parish funds…
Repercussions? Only one made, and 40,000 Hail Marys.
Subaru Casa Blanca
What th–? Subaru, in an attempt to cash in on a "retro" trend that swept Japan in the mid-90s, grafted an old grille and lights onto its modern Impreza hatchback.
Repercussions? Not many were sold, and Subaru went on to "style" the hideous Tri—er—we'll save that for later.
Lancia Thesis
What th–? Until recently, you're looking at Lancia's top sedan. If your glasses are working, you're also feeling queasy. We blame the beagle-esque styling. According to Wikipedia, the chief stylist said, "People will be looking for excuses not to buy this car…" Must have been psychic.
Repercussions? A dismal 16,000 sold after seven years.
Weber Sportscars "Faster One"
What th–? A 900 horsepower supercar from Switzerland…
Repercussions? …with styling that was melted in a fondue pot.
Stutz Blackhawk
What th–? A 19-foot-long car built off of a 1970s Pontiac Grand Prix chassis. In today's dollars, this abomination cost ~$120,000.
Repercussions? Fat Elvis had one.
Ford Scorpio
What th–? More proof that cool names don't equal cool cars, the Scorpio asks the age-old question, "Where's my mouth?"
Repercussions? Daewoo copied the "styling" well into the 2000s, successfully exporting these puppy dog eyes all over Asia and North America.
Hyundai Tiburon
What th–? More lights than a mall lot circus…
Repercussions? …and thankfully killed after two years.
Toyota Solara
What th–? The keeps-getting-facelifted Stepford Wives-equivalent of a car.
Repercussions? Botox sales have never been better, and the Solara is no more.
SsangYong Actyon
What th–? Korea's stab at a Pontiac Aztek.
Repercussions? A sore stomach.
Pontiac Aztek
What th–? The Pontiac Aztek. You know how this goes.
Repercussions? Killed Pontiac, nearly killed General Motors, too. Well, maybe not quite, but we're going to blame it on the kid in the corner who smells.
Subaru B9 Tribeca
What th–? Subaru's crossover. Yep, they make a crossover!
Repercussions? One U.S. writer said it looked like a female body part, Outback sales went up, and the Tribeca was restyled to look like a Chrysler.
Daimler SP250
What th–? Daimler's answer to the Jaguar E-Type. Top speed was 193 km/h, but the body flexed so much the doors opened. Really. We think they just wanted to be set free.
Repercussions? Comic heroine Modesty Blaise had one, then upgraded to an Aston Martin DB5. Daimer was bought by Jaguar, and is now used as a special trim level on certain Jags.
Citroën Ami
What th–? A compact car from France, named "friend."
Repercussions? None, really. They tolerate this sort of thing and it sold well. We like it, but won't pretend it doesn't look like an old bumper car.
Chrysler PT Cruiser
What th–? You know this one. And if you own one, don't write us and say how great it looks. It has a cheese grater for a nose!
Repercussions? It sold well, and Chrysler didn't bother changing it for a number of years. They've since aged as well as a jar of mayonnaise left open on the dashboard of a car sitting in the sun…
Nissan Micra Bolero
What th–? Nissan made some dance cars (Tango, Bolero, Rumba, Polka—don't ask) in the 90s, and decided to resurrect the Bolero.
Repercussions? Your kids will never want to borrow your car.
SsangYong Korando
What th–? SsangYong's answer to the Jeep Wrangler. They actually used to assemble Mitsubishi Jeep kits back in the day, which were really "Jeep" Jeep kits…
Repercussions? I saw one while driving through Germany and nearly crashed. Kid you not.
Reliant Robin
What th–? A three-wheeled car that actually sorta looks like a bird.
Repercussions? Look at the kid in the photo. We think he has just wet himself.
Mitsuoka Orochi
What th–? You've heard of drunk dialing? This is drunk designing.
Repercussions? Laughter, mostly.
Fiat Multipla
What th–? A compact, best-selling people mover from Fiat…even though it looks like that dude at a party who avoids eye contact.
Repercussions? Fiat restyled the Multipla, making it look less like chicken pox with wheels.
Ford Edsel
What th–? The Pontiac Aztek, like 50 years ago.
Repercussions? Is Edsel still around? Yeah, no.
Kia Amanti
What th–? Kia tried to make a car that looked like a Mercedes-Benz E-Class.
Repercussions? …which turned out so poorly they didn't bother to put a badge on the front.
Mosler Raptor
What th–? A sports car that was great underneath—and banned from racing—but that looked like a space shuttle.
Repercussions? Mosler was forced to come out with a real car—the MT900—which they still race (successfully) today.
Hyundai Sonata Hybrid
What th–? One of the most fuel-efficient sedans on the market, and genuinely a great car to own…but…
Repercussions? …being labeled the person who drives a fish to work.
Ferrari FF
What th–? Ferrari's latest GT car.
Repercussions? None likely. People will always buy Ferraris, even if they're still wearing braces and eye glitter. If Kimmie Gibbler was a car…
Tatra T603
What th–? A Czech super-saloon from the 60s.
Repercussions? While we rather like it, the whole "three headlights" thing didn't catch on.
Gillet Vertigo
What th–? A sports car from Belgium.
Repercussions? People still don't know Belgium makes cars. Or anteaters.
Troll Sportcoupé
What th–? A sports car from Norway.
Repercussions? Only five were made. Norway decided it was a better deal to trade fish to the USSR in exchange for amazing vehicles—like Ladas—than it was to allow the company to make the Troll.
Panoz Abruzzi "Spirit of Le Mans"
What th–? A sports car from America not named "Cobra," "Corvette," or "Viper."
Repercussions? Just went on sale, we hope there's not a pent-up demand for cars that look like squid.
Oldsmobile Aurora
What th–? The first Auroras looked rather nice. This one is cross-eyed. Please: don't write in and say you love the styling before you have your glasses prescription updated.
Repercussions? Oldsmobile was the first of the General Motors brands to fold…even Hummer was kept around longer.
Marcos Mantis
What th–? Just let the lines soak in, k? It was a sports car from England, only 32 were sold.
Repercussions? Marcos was purchased a few years back by some Russian billionaire and is now bankrupt. Their later cars looked much better, but these early versions didn't exactly improve the breed, if you know what we mean.
Collection by Michael Banovsky of Sympatico.ca
What th–? The 1957 Aurora was designed, over three years, by a Catholic priest who wanted to produce the safest car ever. We should point out that building a car is probably not the best use of parish funds…
Repercussions? Only one made, and 40,000 Hail Marys.
What th–? Subaru, in an attempt to cash in on a "retro" trend that swept Japan in the mid-90s, grafted an old grille and lights onto its modern Impreza hatchback.
Repercussions? Not many were sold, and Subaru went on to "style" the hideous Tri—er—we'll save that for later.
What th–? Until recently, you're looking at Lancia's top sedan. If your glasses are working, you're also feeling queasy. We blame the beagle-esque styling. According to Wikipedia, the chief stylist said, "People will be looking for excuses not to buy this car…" Must have been psychic.
Repercussions? A dismal 16,000 sold after seven years.
What th–? A 900 horsepower supercar from Switzerland…
Repercussions? …with styling that was melted in a fondue pot.
What th–? A 19-foot-long car built off of a 1970s Pontiac Grand Prix chassis. In today's dollars, this abomination cost ~$120,000.
Repercussions? Fat Elvis had one.
What th–? More proof that cool names don't equal cool cars, the Scorpio asks the age-old question, "Where's my mouth?"
Repercussions? Daewoo copied the "styling" well into the 2000s, successfully exporting these puppy dog eyes all over Asia and North America.
What th–? More lights than a mall lot circus…
Repercussions? …and thankfully killed after two years.
What th–? The keeps-getting-facelifted Stepford Wives-equivalent of a car.
Repercussions? Botox sales have never been better, and the Solara is no more.
What th–? Korea's stab at a Pontiac Aztek.
Repercussions? A sore stomach.
What th–? The Pontiac Aztek. You know how this goes.
Repercussions? Killed Pontiac, nearly killed General Motors, too. Well, maybe not quite, but we're going to blame it on the kid in the corner who smells.
What th–? Subaru's crossover. Yep, they make a crossover!
Repercussions? One U.S. writer said it looked like a female body part, Outback sales went up, and the Tribeca was restyled to look like a Chrysler.
What th–? Daimler's answer to the Jaguar E-Type. Top speed was 193 km/h, but the body flexed so much the doors opened. Really. We think they just wanted to be set free.
Repercussions? Comic heroine Modesty Blaise had one, then upgraded to an Aston Martin DB5. Daimer was bought by Jaguar, and is now used as a special trim level on certain Jags.
What th–? A compact car from France, named "friend."
Repercussions? None, really. They tolerate this sort of thing and it sold well. We like it, but won't pretend it doesn't look like an old bumper car.
What th–? You know this one. And if you own one, don't write us and say how great it looks. It has a cheese grater for a nose!
Repercussions? It sold well, and Chrysler didn't bother changing it for a number of years. They've since aged as well as a jar of mayonnaise left open on the dashboard of a car sitting in the sun…
What th–? Nissan made some dance cars (Tango, Bolero, Rumba, Polka—don't ask) in the 90s, and decided to resurrect the Bolero.
Repercussions? Your kids will never want to borrow your car.
What th–? SsangYong's answer to the Jeep Wrangler. They actually used to assemble Mitsubishi Jeep kits back in the day, which were really "Jeep" Jeep kits…
Repercussions? I saw one while driving through Germany and nearly crashed. Kid you not.
What th–? A three-wheeled car that actually sorta looks like a bird.
Repercussions? Look at the kid in the photo. We think he has just wet himself.
What th–? You've heard of drunk dialing? This is drunk designing.
Repercussions? Laughter, mostly.
What th–? A compact, best-selling people mover from Fiat…even though it looks like that dude at a party who avoids eye contact.
Repercussions? Fiat restyled the Multipla, making it look less like chicken pox with wheels.
What th–? The Pontiac Aztek, like 50 years ago.
Repercussions? Is Edsel still around? Yeah, no.
What th–? Kia tried to make a car that looked like a Mercedes-Benz E-Class.
Repercussions? …which turned out so poorly they didn't bother to put a badge on the front.
What th–? A sports car that was great underneath—and banned from racing—but that looked like a space shuttle.
Repercussions? Mosler was forced to come out with a real car—the MT900—which they still race (successfully) today.
What th–? One of the most fuel-efficient sedans on the market, and genuinely a great car to own…but…
Repercussions? …being labeled the person who drives a fish to work.
What th–? Ferrari's latest GT car.
Repercussions? None likely. People will always buy Ferraris, even if they're still wearing braces and eye glitter. If Kimmie Gibbler was a car…
What th–? A Czech super-saloon from the 60s.
Repercussions? While we rather like it, the whole "three headlights" thing didn't catch on.
What th–? A sports car from Belgium.
Repercussions? People still don't know Belgium makes cars. Or anteaters.
What th–? A sports car from Norway.
Repercussions? Only five were made. Norway decided it was a better deal to trade fish to the USSR in exchange for amazing vehicles—like Ladas—than it was to allow the company to make the Troll.
What th–? A sports car from America not named "Cobra," "Corvette," or "Viper."
Repercussions? Just went on sale, we hope there's not a pent-up demand for cars that look like squid.
What th–? The first Auroras looked rather nice. This one is cross-eyed. Please: don't write in and say you love the styling before you have your glasses prescription updated.
Repercussions? Oldsmobile was the first of the General Motors brands to fold…even Hummer was kept around longer.
What th–? Just let the lines soak in, k? It was a sports car from England, only 32 were sold.
Repercussions? Marcos was purchased a few years back by some Russian billionaire and is now bankrupt. Their later cars looked much better, but these early versions didn't exactly improve the breed, if you know what we mean.
Collection by Michael Banovsky of Sympatico.ca
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